Goodbye 2012: The Sparkly Moments

Hello 2013.  Hello chance to start over or chance to move forward.  Hello new day.  You’re looking more promising and more bright than ever.  I’d like to take a moment though, to reflect on the moments of last year that have brought me here to this very moment sitting in Whole Foods in Nashville.

The first half of last year was filled with the determination to find answers on how to move forward with this music career of mine.  I spent almost every Monday going to an open mic at Kulaks Woodshed in North Hollywood, played shows around town, wrote original songs and teamed up with two guitarists who helped me tremendously (Joe Devenney and Andrew Heath).   I played impromptu mini shows at a coffee shop, Republic of Pie, in North Hollywood every chance I got.

However, key moments that would change the course of my life forever:

1. Move to Nashville July 1st.

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(I did not take this photo)

2. First co-write with Josh Withenshaw July 6th

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3. Met and Wrote with Ernie Halter (who I had been a fan of since his album Congress Hotel.. eek!) July 23rd.

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September:

-Played Whiskey Jam with Josh and his buddies from Every Avenue (Matt and Jimmie)

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-Shot music video for Cowboy Lovin in Malibu

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October:

-Started recording 6 of the tunes I wrote with Josh Withenshaw

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-Rebel N Rose was born on 10/22/12 (duo with Josh Withenshaw)

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NO WE ARE NOT DATING. 🙂 We are just best friends forever.

November:

-Attended the BMI awards – refer to Mission Accomplished if you want the deets 🙂

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-Visited my sister in Texas and got to meet my baby niece Amelia (who is the cutest thing ever)

December:

-Wrote with Brennin Hunt.. and am super excited about recording the finished product in January!

-Went to the studio to meet the Pistol Annies (Miranda Lambert, Ashley Monroe, and Angaleena Presley) and witness their new record come to life. This was my TOP moment of the year, no doubt.

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-Invited back AGAIN to the studio for the final listening party for the Pistol Annies new record where I sat in a room with country player legends who played on the record as well as producer, Frank Liddell.

-Went to Sheryl Crow’s house for her Christmas party. Had a fantastic conversation with Jimmy and Karen from Little Big Town about the music industry and rising above the nonsense and nonbelievers. Got to see Sheryl’s home studio.

Well, 2012, you did good.  I’ve got a lot of plans for this year.. but I found that less planning and more dreaming allows the Universe to bring about opportunities I would have never thought possible.  If you would have told me 6 months ago that in December I would be standing in a studio kitchen discussing liquor of choice with Miranda Lambert, I would have laughed and told you, you’re crazy.  Well played, Universe.  Well played.

Looking forward to an incredibly successful, abundant, spectacularly bright new year filled with sparkles, rainbows, and butterflies… and cupcakes.  A year of more doing, and less procrastinating.

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As for you, I hope that you’ll dream bigger than ever before.. and as you dream your dreams into reality, I hope you find that to be a dreamer is so much more satisfying, exciting, and rewarding than to be a boring, dumb “realist”.

Mission Accomplished

Have you ever experienced what it’s like to write a few goals/ ideas down, take a few steps to accomplish them, and then witness the progress unfold in ways you never would have imagined?

This is what happened a few weeks ago in my last post when I decided to commit to figuring out how to record by November 1st.  Right after I wrote that blog, the solution messaged me on facebook.. and here we are.. November 3rd.. and I almost have 6 songs recorded with a nice full production almost ready for vocals.. then mixing!  If you don’t know what all of that means.. essentially, Josh and I will have 6 of our songs recorded and up on the internet in the next month (maybe sooner).    Also, we figured out a name for our duo..

Rebel N’ Rose

What do you think?! I’m excited about it.  Then.. a few days ago.. I was invited (totally random and last minute).. to the BMI Awards!  AAHHH.. This is an award show solely for the artists and writers at BMI and other major industry folk. Did I mention that I’m a writer on BMI?  What a coincidence!

I got to meet Bob Doyle (manager of Garth Brooks and the Band Perry) and I was shocked at how many people I already know in this town!  I got to say hello to people I’ve met at other music functions and it was as if I belonged there.. that was probably the most exciting part about it.  I belonged. It felt right.  These are people who write songs that you hear on the radio every day.

But everyone else was incredibly sweet and wonderful.  Miranda Lambert, Winona Judd, Band Perry, Thompson Square, President of the CMA’s, and musicians that have played on every record you’ve ever heard.. it was INCREDIBLE. There were sparkly chandeliers everywhere and it was a glamorous evening full of gourmet marshmallows, bourbon ice cream sandwiches, and incredibly talented and successful, good hearted people.  Could I ask for more? I think not.

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Please check out my new duo on Facebook by clicking here –> REBEL N’ ROSE FACEBOOK

And we’d love for you to follow us on Twitter as well!  –> REBEL N’ ROSE TWITTER

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Oh, and Josh and I did a little shoot at a cemetery up the street from where I live.  It was beautiful!

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Sometimes, you just have to set goals and jump head first into the deep end. You’ll be surprised to see the answers just handed to you. You just have to reach out your hand palm up and be ready for what God has for you.  It doesn’t always work out the way you expect.. but most of the time.. if you let go of the need to control everything.. you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the way things work out.

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That’s all for today..

I hope that you find some inspiration to follow your heart from this blog.. because despite minor setbacks and challenges I face on a daily basis.. I’ve never been happier.  It’s because I’m following my heart.

Wish. Pray. Hope.

As I sit here trying to figure out how to say exactly what I want to say, I’m listening to the worktapes I’ve made with my friend and co-writer, Josh Withenshaw.  Anxiety, happiness, excitement, and frustration are just a few words to describe how I feel right now.  You see, it is SO incredibly amazing to be able to write a song.. sing a song.. and make a decent recording of it in hopes that it will someday find it’s way into a studio where session players can give it the life it deserves.  Songwriters create these acoustic worktape demos that we can just call “rough drafts” to provide guidelines for a producer/studio peeps… but this is where the frustration comes in.  It takes a decent amount of finances to get to the studio step.  Sometimes, there’s an in between step that can easily be done with a home studio- an acoustic demo done with protools.  To me, this in between step sucks.  If I had the resources/finances to make this happen.. I guess I’d be okay with it.. But here I am.. sitting on these songs I’m so proud of and excited to hear in the form they deserve to be heard in.. and in a town full of creative people with studios galore.. I can’t seem to figure out how to get to the next step with the minimal resources I’ve got.  These songs are good… really freaking good.  This phase is kind of like watching somebody you love in a coma.. hoping they will wake up.. hoping they’ll get another chance to live.  I pour my heart and soul into these songs.. spend hours and hours, days upon days working at them.. writing.. singing.. hoping. It feels like I’m standing in front of a huge rod iron gate with a guard that looks like Michael Duncan Clark. 

 

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So I wish, pray, and hope.  I wish I had the finances right now to be able to fund these songs into beautiful, creative, existence.  I pray that it’s only a matter of time.. sooner than later.. that these songs can be heard the way they were intended to be heard.. and that they wrap their arms around each listener the way that music’s comforted me my whole life. I hope that this wonderful journey, no matter how hard it is sometimes, will inspire YOU to step outside your comfort zone and chase down what you are most passionate about.. and just DO IT.

 

So.. By November 1st I commit to figuring out how to get a 4 song demo (I’ve got about.. 14 songs.. but we’ll start with 4). By demo.. I ideally would love to record these 4 songs the way they should be recorded.. with session players in a real live studio.. with a producer.. okay, okay.. I’ll settle for anything professional sounding.. but I’m a dreamer. 

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” 
― Winston Churchill

Seasons of Change

Aaahhh… October. One of my favorite months of the year.  Despite the effects of Global Warming (which is very real, if you didn’t know), the weather in Nashville has yet to disappoint me.  It’s cool, crisp, and full of the Fall flavors that make it the most amazing season of the year.  Wouldn’t you agree?  

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Seasons don’t just exist with the changing of the leaves on the trees and the dramatic drops or hikes in temperature.. I firmly believe there are seasons, or cycles of change in our lives.   Why certain things happen or certain people come and go in our lives, I’m not always sure.. but I just trust there is a reason and that things will work out as they should if I just let go of the need to control everything and just roll with it.  

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So here’s to a figurative hurricane season..  my job may be a bit hectic, my songwriting schedule may not be where it should be, and my personal life, a little bit shaky, but I plan on this wind and rain washing out all the bad stuff and being able to start fresh again in the next few days..

Sometimes we need these seasons… it wouldn’t hurt all of us to do some spring cleaning every now and again either!

 

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A little bit crazy.. a lotta bit real.

What an adventure.  Here I am 2 months into my Nashville chapter and it’s been quite the rollercoaster.  I may not have been on the search for love, but I definitely found a story worth writing about.  For your reading enjoyment, I present, Dating Musicians in a Small Town- Don’t do it:

Then there was Fred, the first boy in Nashville that I could really open my heart to.  Or so I thought. There was something about him- his goofy and totally silly presence on stage made my heart smile in a way that so few do.  Of course, I decided to give him a chance.  We started hanging out like people normally do, but for me, I couldn’t get enough of watching him play around town with his band.  They played covers of hit songs from early 90’s to present and I’m a sucker for a great cover band.  Great songs and great live music all in one? I’m in.  The only issue here is that because a few people knew about Fred and I, well, whatever there was to know (which wasn’t much), I started looking like a groupie.  I hated this.  Why can’t I just enjoy the music without the drama?  Why can’t it be simple?  Why do people feel the need to make sense of something that hasn’t even had a chance to develop yet?  Well, I brought one of my favorite people out to see them play and the entire time we were there, Fred wouldn’t even make eye contact with me.  He paid attention to everyone else, high fiving his buddies from the stage and saying hello to the random drunk folk who were like, “Yeah, man! You guys rock!” My buddy and I sat ten feet away from him and he didn’t once acknowledge us.  So, feeling incredibly awkward and unwanted, we left.  Did I do something wrong? I thought we were friends? What is happening?! I talked this over with my buddy, and he even thought the whole thing weird.  I went to bed feeling a little uneasy- I guess you could say I’m sensitive- adjusting to this small town where everyone talks about things that aren’t even WORTH talking about has been a little difficult.

And then, things went from weird to straight up strange and ridiculous.  We hadn’t even been seeing each other for two weeks when I woke up to a strange text message from an unknown number (Mississippi area code) that read:

I’m sure you think you’re the only one with Fred but just giving you a heads up you’re not.

Whoa.  I did what any other confused recipient of a message of this nature would do and asked for the persons identity.  No luck.  So I played along and said something along the lines of- “Well, of course I’m aware.”  Then came-

Hahahaha… ok sweetie.  You tell yourself that.  You’ll learn the hard way.

At this point, I realize this person is female.  At least, I can assume it is.  Sweetie? Come on.  I assured her that she misunderstood and that I knew Fred and I were not exclusive.  As I’m typing out a text explaining our situation, I stopped myself and thought- Why the heck do I need to explain myself to this random crazy person who won’t even identify herself?  Then, the final text.

I apologize.  I misunderstood what you meant.  Just know you’re relatively new to town and was trying to give you a heads up.  Lots of selfish people here.

So, this person knows about me, has my number, feels compelled to warn me and still won’t identify herself.  Naturally, I called Fred and explained to him what had just happened.  I gave him the number and he attempted to figure out who it was, and sent me a picture of the text message back and forth between them.  She wouldn’t identify herself to him either. Fred and I had just started seeing each other.  Both of us absolutely free to continue leading the lives we had before we met each other, and without obligation to one another.  So why is this person trying to screw up something that doesn’t even exist?  Mind boggling.  Unless he’s married or in a relationship- the warning is irrelevant.  In fact, she created unnecessary drama in a nonexistent relationship.  Good lord.  I felt like I was in high school all over again.

Feeling incredibly uneasy, I got ready for work and decided to finish out the day without this icky feeling I had about the entire situation.  No such luck because shit got really weird.  Straight out of a movie weird.

After work, I went to Fred’s to take his dog out and feed him- since Fred was out of town for the weekend.  I love this dog as if it were my own.  So, I walk into his place, take a few steps and low and behold- there’s a girl in Freds bed.  Hold on- let me say that again.  There is a girl in Freds bed. You can imagine how I must be feeling at this point.  Can you?  Can you see the look on my face? She was dressed (thank God)- in jeans and a shirt and on a laptop, but still.  An attractive female in his bed… today. Of all days! Is there a camera?! Where is Ashton Kutcher- I’m totally being Punked. Tell me this is a joke.

We introduced ourselves, awkwardly, and she made it a point to tell me she was just there doing some work for Fred and wouldn’t be there long.  Did I mention there was a girl in his bed? So, I asked if she had taken the dog out and fed him- of course she did.  Of course she would do that for Fred.  But they’re just friends, right?  So, I excused myself and exited as calmly as I possibly could.  All I could think was- “Today needs to be over, immediately”.    I texted Fred and said, “Sarah’s got your pup covered.”  He texted back explaining that they are just really good friends and she was helping out with a business transaction he needed taken care of while he was gone.”  The best part was, he was texting her while I was there.. a picture of the plane he was getting on.. and hadn’t texted me back yet from a text I had sent earlier.  Awesome.  “They must be really good friends,” I thought.

The next day, I got up extra early to go to Fred’s to take out his dog.  I decided to text him because something told me I needed to make sure what I was walking into.  I knew his friends were going to be staying there and after a night out drinking, I could be walking into a naked party mess. I just didn’t want any more surprises.  Feeling exhausted and fighting a sickness, I waited for a response as I sat outside his building.  “Don’t worry, Larry already took out the dog.”  Awesome.  I’m at work an hour early, tired and sick.. for no reason.  “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” I thought. But Fred requested I stop by after work to check on the dog, because his friends would surely be too wasted to take care of him.  So, of course, I head over there after a long day at work and pass Larry in the hallway.  “Has the pup been out today?” I asked.  “Yea, Sarah took him out and fed him this morning”.  Sarah?  Really?  The bed girl?  Okay.

I brushed it off and smiled, went upstairs and took out the pup and fed him.  I was looking for a piece of paper to write down what time I took him out so the next person who came in would know what time he ate and pooped last.  You know, just being considerate.  In my search for a piece of paper to write on, I found a beautiful blank sheet on Freds desk.  I grabbed it, turned it over, and found a lovely note.  Cue heart drop.  I don’t remember it exactly, but it went something like this-

Freddy,

I love you.  I bet you LOVE Ohio.

Love,             Sarah

Are you FOR REAL? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m by no means in love or even infatuated with Fred at this point in time.  But with all of this craziness happening.. I didn’t even know what to believe.  I didn’t run in the other direction at this point, although I should have.  The straw that broke the camels back as they say was the following scenario.. he came home from this weekend long trip and we were supposed to hang out that Monday night.  I was really looking forward to finally getting some time alone with him to talk about the crazy weirdness of the weekend.  I had a music thing to attend that evening and he was going to meet me there with his buddy, Luke around 9:30.  9:30 rolls around and he hasn’t texted me, so I text him asking what time he’d be there.. and he says that there’s been a change of plans and he’s going to go with Luke to meet up with a friend they never get to hang out with outside of playing gigs.

AWESOME.  This isn’t the first time he’s broken plans.. but I do my best to keep it together.  I had seen Fred earlier that day and brought by a few of my things because I planned on staying the night with him.  Yes, true story. So I text him back- soooo, should I come get my things.. guess I’m not staying with you.

“Oh, were you serious about staying over?” he said.  In my head, I thought.. NO, of course I wasn’t.  I brought my things over and made it a point to have a conversation with you about spending the night with you for NO REASON AT ALL.  Silly me.  At this point, I’m pretty irritated.  I told my buddy .. Joshua to come with me because I needed to get out of there.. but I also let him know that on the way back to Josh’s house we’d have to make a stop for my things.  On the way out the door from this music event.. guess who we run into.. LUKE.  The friend that Fred is supposed to be with.  Imagine my surprise and the steam coming out of my ears.  I felt like such a fool.  I texted Fred- “Guess who I just ran into.. Luke.. he’s got great hair”  That’s all I could think of saying, really.  What I really wanted to say was.. well, you can imagine what I really wanted to say.  Once again, catching Fred in all these weird twisted lies.  Fred said something along the lines of, “Luke is supposed to be picking me UP! Is he still there?”  At this moment, I’m on my way to Fred’s to get my things and I have no idea where luke is, nor do I care.  I told Fred I was on my way and sure enough, I get to his place 5 minutes later and he’s gone.  He had left.. conveniently.  I grab my things and I get a text from Fred- “You’re not mad, are you?”

OKay.. any sane girl would be smart enough to walk away from the whole thing at this point.  NOT ME.  I go home, tell myself I was a little irrational.. he just wanted to hang out with his buddies and party all night long.  What’s wrong with that?   So, I decide the next morning that I would bring Fred coffee and we would have a conversation to clear the air and move forward as FRIENDS ONLY.  Because after all, a relationship clearly is not in the cards for us.  So, I know the code to his building.. his front door is always open.. I pick up his favorite coffee.. text him asking if I can stop by.. and he says, “I’m on my way to the bank, be back in 10 minutes.”  Well, I’m already sitting outside his place and figure I’ll just go up and hang out with his dog until he gets back..  BAD IDEA.  I open his front door to his deer in the headlights look and a girl standing in his kitchen wearing his t-shirt and sweat pants.  AWESOME.  Nothing happened, right?  That’s what he claims. whatever.  He blew me off the night before to party with his guy friends and I walk in on him with a girl in his clothes in his kitchen the morning after.. Call me crazy (Cause I totally am) but somebody’s lying.

That was it.  I didn’t know what to say.  I’ve never encountered such a situation so my only reaction FINALLY was to run.. very awkwardly in the other direction.

Well, I can tell you now that this whole scenario is over and long gone.. What did I learn?  Trust my gut… Don’t settle for less than I deserve. OH and..  The minute I walked away from this situation (because of course, I deserve SO MUCH BETTER..) I met someone real. A true southern gentleman who has been nothing but wonderful to me.   Oooohhhhh, this is what it’s supposed to be like.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, music is going superbly well.  Just writing my little heart out and enjoying the whole process.  Watching everything unfold along the way, saying yes to the opportunities presented, and trying not to sweat the small stuff.  Learning to enjoy every moment and seeing the beauty in the little things.  I’m alive and well.. and I’m choosing to be happy on a daily basis.  I will not settle for less than I deserve and I do what I can to make people’s lives around me easier and bring joy to others whenever I can.

Oh, and here’s a little collage of a recent photoshoot!  Yay, Nashville!

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Good.

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“Good days start with good intentions,” reads the tag line of this new site I discovered Post Goodness.  That tag line couldn’t be more accurate.  On days when I actually take the time to focus on a positive thought about what my day is going to be like, even if it’s as simple as- TODAY IS GOING TO BE AMAZING, my days generally end up being pretty darn amazing.  Other days, when I’m in a rush or in a funk and forget I have complete control over the kind of day I have, I don’t have the best day and usually can’t wait for it to be over so I can start over again.  

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Thoughts really do become things and I make such an effort to try and keep my thoughts aligned with what I want in my life and how I want to feel and who I want to attract into my life. Lately I’ve been taking care to create more goodness in my life. I used to be an incredibly selfish individual.  I didn’t understand the concept of giving.. not because I didn’t want to give, just because I was too insecure and hurt to know how to give.  I mean, I gave gifts for birthdays and christmas, but I’m talking about the kind of giving that happens on a daily basis- the going out of your way to help someone in need kind of giving.  On this one particular day, my best friend was getting ready for a final in college and she hadn’t eaten all day.  She had texted me about being starving but not being able to leave the cutting room because she had to finish editing while she had the time slot.  Not wanting to bother me, she assured me she was fine and would get food later.  Instead, I took this as an opportunity to pick up some of her favorite healthy snacks from Whole Foods and surprise her with a little care package.  She was so happy and grateful and I felt great knowing I made her day a little bit better and maybe helped her do better on that final. Regardless, it’s those opportunities I’ve learned to take more often because GIVING IS SO DAMN GOOD.  I had to take an ABC course recently to get my alcohol beverage license and the instructor kept repeating- “You are here for one reason and one reason only, to help your fellow human beings, people!  To take care of your neighbor and to be good to each other, that is all”.  I thought that was a little strange that he put more emphasis on that message over the actual content of the course, but I’m very glad he did.. because I believe that’s a lesson people don’t really hear verbalized very often- if at all, ever. 

 

Anyway, back to my post for the day.. goodness is intentional.  believe it. think it. do it. 

Also, don’t forget to recognize the magical little things that happen every day that make each day a little different and possibly a little better than the last. 

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Magic

Even during those weeks where everything seems to go absolutely wrong, something or someone up in the clouds manages to find a way to remind me that I’m exactly where I am, doing what I’m doing for a reason. Last night was one of those nights.

I’ve had a brutal week.  I may or may not post the blog in which I documented this entire nightmarish experience.  I haven’t decided yet- but it’s too damn juicy not to share.. so stay tuned for that.  My junk, essentially was turned into a treasure for your reading enjoyment.  For now, I’ll just share what happened last night that reminded me that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Sometimes I go through these funks where I wonder if I’m on the right path and if I’m doing everything I can to reach my end all goal.  I just started working at a steak and oyster restaurant in downtown nashville and it couldn’t be more perfect for me.  It took me a month to get a job when I got here, but something told me to just go in and apply there one day (a very desperate day as I watched the number in my bank account dwindle).. and I walked out with a serving job 20 minutes later.  I’ve never served in a restaurant atmosphere, let alone a fine dining restaurant (with a casual atmosphere).  The whole thing made me nervous until I decided I would conquer this job like I have every other and the fear diminished after a few shifts of training.  However, this job is by no means easy.  WAITING TABLES IS HARD WORK- especially when you are dealing with the public.  Let me just say that SERVERS ARE STILL PEOPLE.  We aren’t robots who don’t have lives other than serving tables.  I can tell when people actually believe that servers are second class and it’s rude and unnecessary.  I still haven’t seen the movie The Waiting, but I’m going to.

That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Anyway, I’ve been feeling very confident about this job the last few days as my personal life seemed to be going up in flames– that’s a huge exaggeration.  (I put way too much energy into people who don’t appreciate me.. and I forgive and forget to a fault).  However, last night especially, I felt like I could escape how I felt about my personal life by leaving it at the door and becoming the best server I could possibly be. Weird and super corny, right? I read somewhere, whether it was Brian Tracy or Wayne Dyer that no matter what you’re doing, put your heart and soul in it and know that it’s just a stepping stone. So, I decided that last night would be an amazing night and I put my heart and soul into it.  Low and behold, I had the best night I’ve ever had there.  (although I’ve only been there two weeks.. still 🙂

First, I get to wait on Mary Steenburgen.  For those of you who don’t know, she’s just one of my favorite actresses.  When I saw her play Will Ferrell’s mom in Elf, I wished she was my mom.  And, yes, she is just as sweet in person.

ImageThen, I got a table of 6 hilarious people who despite, even a fly in a drink (it happens, people), were so impressed by my GREAT personality and service they complimented me to the managers on duty before leaving.  After this awesome table left, I ran into one of my favorite people in Nashville, Joanna and she was having dinner with her roomie (who is a country artist) and a songwriter.  The night just kept getting better.  After the week I’ve had with the boy drama, it was so good to see a familiar face that I LOVE seeing.

It’s about 10 o’clock now and I have just been cut by the managers.  I still have a booth of songwriters sipping on their drinks and finishing their meals when one of them runs up to me and begs me to keep the kitchen open for their friends, Little Big Town.  WHAT?! I’m supposed to keep the kitchen open for one of my favorite county groups who happen to have the number 2 song on the radio right now?  I GOT THIS.  I calmly asked the chef if she’d stay open even if just for cheeseburgers, and reluctantly (because the kitchen had already begun to shut down), she said yes.  So, I got to wait on Little Big Town and their crew, made great connections, and my heart felt so full because I realized then, that there was absolutely a reason I came to Nashville.  My stars are aligning and when they wished me luck on my music career- deep down I knew I’d see them again and at some point, when my songs are playing on the radio and I’m playing sold out shows, we’ll all look back at the photo below and laugh.. because I knew when they came in, I’d be sitting where they were sitting one day- on top of the country music charts and I will be just as cool and down to earth as they are.. and I can’t wait for that day.

Imageand it’s just like magic.  life can be so magical if you let it be. off to rehearsal!  ’til next time.

xo, mc

Moving On

 

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My life has always been going in this direction.  Music has always been my calling.. my love.. my therapy.. my passion- even when I attempted to escape it by going to school for Business at SDSU.. (huge disaster).. I wound up  back in Los Angeles 6 months later partaking in a showcase for industry professionals with a vocal coach I had been seeing once a week (I took the train home every weekend).  Here I am… almost 26 years old.. living in Nashville.. writing and singing songs I love and meeting incredibly awesome and talented people.  Part of me has been holding on to California for some reason.. perhaps because I grew up there or because my friends and family are there.. or perhaps because I thought I left my heart there.  Key word: thought.

 

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I wrote a song when I got here called Home.  It’s not about a where it is, rather, it’s about a with whom it is.  When I got to Nashville, I realized that I didn’t long for the space I had lived in for the last two years or the home I grew up in, I ached for the presence of a few certain people in my life.  People who were and still are fundamental to my sanity, happiness, and to my essence.  If you have certain people in your life who you can laugh for hours with, who keep you grounded and generally are drama free, people who make you feel so alive and are there for you through thick and thin.. keep them around as long as you can.   I may be over 2,000 miles away from my best friend but I guarantee you I talk to her almost every day or leave her voicemails 10 minutes long if I need to and if anything were to happen on either end, both of us would jump on a plane and be there for the other.  That’s what life is about.  Those relationships.  No matter how close or far away you are, your hearts are just a beat away. 

 

 

Then there are those relationships that dwindle with distance.  Most people feel that miles can conquer even the strongest of connections between people.  I am not one of those people.  However, I have encountered a situation where one of those people in my life is choosing to allow the miles to conquer the relationship that we had.. and I have to respect this.  It’s not easy, but with time.. I’m coming to terms with it.  Anything is possible in this life if you choose to believe that.  We decide what we need or what we think we need and accept the consequences accordingly.. well, in this case.. unfortunately there’s no telling what the ending of this story is.  I don’t even want to type out what I think it might be because that would make it even more real.  I suppose I’m just a hopeful romantic.. not just hopeful and not just romantic.. but both. I believe in happy endings, but I also believe in the work and effort it takes to make those happy endings a reality.  

 

Is it just that our society has become so greedy and needy with instant gratification that at the first signs of difficulty in a relationship, they throw in the towel and think they can just go out and buy a new and improved version?  Bleh. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.    

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I have no idea where I was going with that– sorry, I get side tracked.  anyway, this is me. moving on.  letting go of the things and people in my life because it’s just time.  we all deserve the best. we all deserve to be loved.  we are all so very deserving of happiness and success.  We just have to believe we are. and then we have to take the steps to create it.  make it.  be it.  and say yes.

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did any of that make any sense?  Oh, random thoughts.. how you get the best of me sometimes.  

 

have an amazingly beautiful and very happy Sunday.

cheers.  

<3mac

 

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One of the many reasons I love Dr. Wayne Dyer…

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“Reality” YUCK

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Set an intention to set intentions.  <– click there. 🙂  No, really.  Setting intentions will CHANGE your life.  Write it down, figure out the steps that need to be taken, put it in action and you’ll find all sorts of doors start opening.  The universe will absolutely help you in reaching your desired goal- but in ways you probably can’t even imagine.  This has been way too true for me to deny how real it is.  Oh, and ex nay the word REALITY as if it were something that is fixed and immovable like a big fat giant enormous stupid boulder.  Reality is what you decide to make of it.  So make your dreams your reality.  I did… and I will continue to do so.  DREAM ON!

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